MetalBite Review by JD on 11/29/2009
Merlot is the name for a type of grape that is used to make some of the finest wines all over the world... but the name has been tarnished to a coal black. This one man band hails from the wilds of Wisconsin has taken the term for a band name... but is not even close to being defined as something that is akin to any fine wine. Truthfully, It is not even equivalent to the worst made home made wines.... this is about as good as someone drinking mouthwash straight from the bottle with a ipecac chaser.
This one man band Merlot
tries to play some very brutally over the top type of Death/Black almost Grinding sort of metal... but as good as that seems, it falls flat. The production is so bad (even with the fact that it was done on a four track recording system), I shutter just thinking about how it just comes at you like white noise that is like some meaningless sludge, and not the good sludge either... this is like it is has been made by a tone-deaf dyslexic using a old amp with a guitar that has only two strings borrowed from a banjo...and it is still totally out of tune.
The guitarist/drummer/vocalist and only person in the project (Mr. J. Haras) barely passes for being a musician while his so-called vocals sound like a constipated dog dumping a thirty pound steaming pile that is filled with razorblades in the middle of a avalanche. This album is so bad, I would rather listen to the Barney, the Big Purple Dinosaur’s theme song over and over again until my mind exploded! This has to be the single worst produced and recorded piece of crap that I have ever had the displeasure of hearing ever.
Word to the wise, Mr. J. Haras of Merlot
... Get the hell out of the business of doing metal and do all of the headbangers around the globe something good... Put down every instrument you try to play, get a job flippin’ patties at Burger King and leave the making of metal music to people that actually know what they are doing.
Categorical Rating Breakdown
Overall: 1 (Sympathy point)
Rating: 0.2 out of 10
**Note** I gave Merlot only one point, because I hate giving anyone a zero... but I seriously did contemplate doing it for this band. That should say plenty about this album... pardon me while I go and puke, and then plot this bands timely destruction!